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A Grooms Guide to reading the matrimonial columns.

Vikram — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 23:43:02 +0000

Looking for a prospective mate is getting tougher by the day. Finding a partner is not a problem. Finding the right one is. There are quite a few options now from agencies to websites to turbo dating and so on.

Some of us still depend on the good old matrimonial columns. Here is a quick guide to reading between the lines and avoiding disappointment later on.

Innocently divorced means that she did not know what hit her. She is still in a daze and has a lot of baggage.

The girl is healthy. This means she is obese and you better train yourself to deal with all the real estate.

If advertisements mention a minimum amount of salary required ,you know that they are below the poverty line and want to erase it with somebody else’s erasure.

When property and businesses are mentioned you are pretty sure to get your throat slit if there are any disputes because we all have seen a lot of movies with psycho landlords in it.

Caste No bar rarely means that they are open minded. Desparation can lead to a lot of things.

High class status family. This means speaking Hindi is below their dignity. A new cell phone every month. Clothes from Mango only. Foreign destinations for travel. More on page 3’s than your living/bedroom.

I believe there are genuine people out there somewhere. Though they are in the minority.

Top ten rules for dummies in the gym

Vikram — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 09:00:27 +0000

1. Stop staring at yourself in the mirror. You will draw attention to yourself and your pot belly.

2. There is something called a deo. Use it.

3. Pink is not a gym colour. Surely not with red shoes and yellow pants.

4. Please use the mirrors. Do not stare directly at people.

5. Do not take trainer’s advice. Most of the times it is a load of rubbish. Research on the net.

6. This is your chance to talk to the opposite sex. Do not be shy.

7. Wipe after you are done. Yourself and the machine.

8. Be courteous and gentle. Loud grunts are a turn off.

9. Over doing it would increase the risk of injury. Take it slow.

10. Do it for the right reasons. Not everybody can be an Aishwarya or Salman Khan.

If you have questions on any of the above mentioned points, then only god can help you.
Best of luck and happy gyming.

Don ko Samajna Mushkil hee Nahee, Namumkin hai.

Vikram — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 22:35:01 +0000

Was Dil Chahta Hai a fluke for Farhan Akhtar? I did not agree with a lot of my friends when they asked me. Now I am beginning to doubt myself. Poorly made, lame characterization, haphazard story, bad acting, boring music and kanoon ke haath jitni lambi film. I am pretty sure 111 mulkon ki police would be after Farhan and Co. for torturing us on Diwali.

Shah Rukh is not in Amitabh’s League for sure. A lot of Amitabh’s fan knew it all along. By doing a film which would give critics the chance to directly compare the two, Mr. Khan has made a huge blunder.

Kareena is no match for Helen. How she died is a mystery.

Arjun Rampal is a robber, no wait, a programmer, no actually an agent, nah he is err hmmm.

Prianka?.........who?

Isha is a prop for sure. So much for meaty roles.

Mr Irani is okay.

Verdict: 1/2 out of 5

India Today Group site hacked

Vikram — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 22:35:07 +0000

The India today group site was hacked a few days ago. None of the major news sites, papers, or organisations carried the news.

A video can be seen here.